Many of you know about my little vendetta I have with a Special Operative frog in the Land, Earth, Air, and Pond (LEAP) division of the froggy military who continuously has left Plasma Odor and Ooze Package (POOP) land mines in one of the bathrooms I clean.
We left off with the Weston Commercial Cleaning Froggy Extraction Strike Team (FEST) relocating said operative from the bathroom to the golf course last week.
This week, I'm here to report that the FEST's mission, though seemingly successful at first, failed. Kermit is back and has again taken the territory behind the ladies bathroom stall door. Fortunately this time, Kermit had not laid any POOP mines. Also, fortunately, I had the good sense to take a quick peak behind the door before spraying any disinfectant, so Kermit could not take advantage of my SLAG weakness (Screaming Like A Girl).
It was obvious that both of us were onto each other, but neither of us fired a shot. Kermit allowed me to clean the bathroom in peace. I think he realized he was out-manned. (Horrible pun, I know...)
I realized, however, that leaving Kermit in the bathroom stall would eventually lead to more POOP mines and civilian SLAG casualties. (Oh, the civilian humanity! I can only imagine the fright of the poor ladies who have had to use said bathroom... No, ladies, I cannot give the location away. It's classified.)
This poses a problem for Weston Commercial Cleaning. There are only two ways we can keep a LEAPer like Kermit from a) returning to the ladies bathroom after being removed and b) laying POOP mines in the ladies bathroom:
- Order the civilians who use the bathroom to close the door after they are done. (A simple concept, I know, and it would also help Weston Commercial Cleaning's bathroom cleaning mission as a whole.)
- Place a guard at the door of the ladies bathroom in order to watch for said LEAPer.
Unfortunately, many of the civilians believe that forcing them to close the door after they use the bathroom is a violation of their civil rights--even though it would also protect them from other wildlife, including the more dangerous snakes and spiders.
Also, the association government has refused to offer funding for said guard, claiming it would be a waste of valuable government resources that are better used for watering flowers and planning parties.
You can imagine how I feel, still having to put myself and my SLAG issues in harm's way because of this... It's frustrating as I'll get out. But I'm part of Weston Commercial Cleaning. I put my cleanliness on the line daily so civilians don't have to. It's my job, and I'll keep doing my duty without any complaining--except for here.
© M. B. Weston, 2008. Special Operative Frogs is not in any way, shape, or form a political satire. It's just a girl on a blog having fun...