Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The Final Cut in Movies' Rules for Surviving a Science Fiction/Fantasy Movie

For those of you who don't know, I have a list that I'm creating called, "The Final Cut's Rules for Surviving a Science Fiction/Fantasy Movie". (You can read the list here.)

This is what I've got so far:

  1. If a monster is chasing you, run out the door. Do not run down to the basement or up on the roof--unless you are either 1) Jackie Chan or 2) a comic book superhero with the ability to fly. Always try to give yourself a "means of egress."
  2. If one of the bad guys decides to show you all the nitty-gritty details of his operation, run. Immediately.
  3. If you discover that you are in a movie adapted from a Stephen King novel, find the nearest crazy person with whom you are trapped and tape his/her mouth shut! You might also consider taping his/her wrists and ankles. You may also want to bring some Prozac...
  4. Never insult a Klingon. No matter how tempting...
  5. If you are a good guy actively fighting bad guys and you have a girlfriend or a wife, get her out of the country. Suggestion: she might really enjoy some spa time in the Caribbean.

And after watching Ironman, I just added a new one:

  • If your arch-enemy is unconscious, make sure he's dead. This could save the director millions of dollars on extra stuntmen, more CG creation time, explosions, etc.

I'll keep you all updated each time I think of a new one.

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