Saturday, May 31, 2008

This Week’s Final Cut In Movies show (05/30/08): The Destruction of Indiana Jones

On this week’s show, I'll be discussing how George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg successfully destroyed Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and my new list of: The Top Ten Ways to Ruin the Sequel to Your Successful Trilogy. Should be fun!

The show will air from 2:00-3:00am & pm and re-air throughout the week at the same times on To listen to tonight's show:

Missed Saturday's edition of The Final Cut? Don’t worry, you can catch the re-runs each day from 2:00-3:00am & pm at, or you can download the podcast at M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or by following this link on iTunes.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Top Ten Things I Learned in Texas

I visited both Austin and Dallas this weekend (well, from last Thursday until today when I came home) to watch my husband's cousin graduate from the University of Texas. Rather than bore you with the details, I figured it would be fun to give you a little Top Ten list.

The Top Ten Things I Learned in Texas

  1. 90 degrees in Texas feels cooler than 90 degrees in South Florida. It's a humidity thing. I don't think I broke a sweat in Texas, and I actually had to wear a little hoody jacket on occasion.
  2. There is a reason American Airlines is having financial trouble. Mainly, they stink. Aside from our planes taking off late both times, they are now charging passengers $25 a bag for more than one bag checked. And don't even give you a little bag of pretzels during the flight! But you can buy a cookie for $3 if you're really that hungry. (You'll have to excuse my sarcasm. I've spent A LOT of time in the airport today!)
  3. I can't bowl worth a darn in real life, but I've got a nasty hook when I play Wii! And my shoes still look pretty!
  4. Austin food ROCKS! The rumors are true. And I ate way too much!
  5. I really do think the horizon is bigger in Texas. I don't know why this is, but it made me feel really small.
  6. Texas is one of the only states that can fly the state flag at the same height as the American Flag. I think it has to do with Texas once being another country. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this because I'm very pro-America, but I personally would like the Texans fighting on my side during a battle, so I'm not going to say anything.
  7. Going to bed at 3:00am and waking up at 6:00am on consecutive days is exhausting... But I didn't have a choice. I had to get the radio show recorded, uploaded, and converted to an MP3 so I could podcast it on Friday.
  8. Texas hailstorms can cause some damage. A massive storm went through Austin and broke all the western windows in my cousin's apartment. $120,000 worth of damage to the city. Or was that million? I don't remember. It was kind of funny listening to everyone go, "Wow! Look at all the leaves on the ground." Or, "Look at that tree branch that snapped." I was thinking, "I remember back during Hurricane Wilma...or was that Charlie... Wait it could have been Ivan. Or, no, it could have been Andrew..." Of course, I rarely see hail in Florida. (I can hear my friends from Louisiana, saying, "Um, we've got you beat when it comes to hurricanes, sister.")
  9. It's pretty cool to watch the UT Tower light up in orange for graduation.
  10. Don't forget to pack a pair of flats when you go on vacation. I forgot my flip flops and had two pairs of shoes: brown heels and black heels. walking across the UT campus in heels was no picnic--especially with less than 6 hours of sleep in two days. Still, I can walk without pain in my foot right now, so it wasn't as bad as wearing heels the whole weekend at OmegaCon...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Guess Which Superhero I Am!

I tend to get really frustrated when I'm doing something I have to do but don't want to do. (Such tasks include but are not limited to: bookkeeping, tax returns, researching publicity, writing anything non-fiction that isn't funny or political satire, and dishes.) When this happens, I try to find any and all excuses to walk away from my desk or do something different. (Such excuses include but are not limited to: Spider Solitaire, Sudoku (evil levels or higher only), and rearranging my blog templates.)

During one such time of forced boredom, I discovered the Superhero Personality Test on the web. (I think I found it on someone's MySpace layout.)

Admit it!

All of you want to know which superhero your personality matches! You can understand my temptation. When offered a choice of organizing my bills or finding out which superhero lies inside me just waiting to comes out... What do you think I'm going to do? So I took the test, hoping for a Supergirl or Wonder Woman--or even Jean Grey from X-Men. (I think that's her name.) You know, someone feminine and classy--like me, of course.

Here were my test results:

You are Spider-Man

Iron Man
Wonder Woman
The Flash
Green Lantern
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

95% percent Spider-Man?

And I'm geeky? (Well, yeah, I can see that...)

But I don't even look good in Royal Blue! And I can't jump!

But it gets worse. Other people took the test as me, filling in the answers that they thought described me the best (ignoring my input, of course), and guess what!

You guessed it: I'm still 95% Spider-Man.

A couple notes:

  • I am 52% Supergirl and 52% Wonder Woman! (I've got at least some femininity in me!)
  • I really must protest the 55% Tony Clark/Iron Man and the 60% Hulk. I'm not anything like a playboy, and I don't have much of a temper.
  • I'm happy with the 65% Superman, though. I mean, who can't like being 65% Superman...
  • If you're interested, I've tested as King Peter on the Narnia websites, and a Dumbledore/Hermione tie on the Harry Potter websites. (I've gotten frustrated with administrative stuff more than once...) And they always put me in Griffindor--along with Spider-man, I'm sure.

Okay, so I've bared my web-encrusted soul to the world. Now it's your turn. Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test, and let me know who you turn out to be!

This Week’s Final Cut In Movies show (05/16/08): Speed Racer

On this week’s show, I'll be discussing Speed Racer, corruption in sports, steroids, disagreeing with movie reviewers, and other science fiction & fantasy news.

The show will air from 2:00-3:00am & pm and re-air throughout the week at the same times on To listen to tonight's show:

Missed Saturday's edition of The Final Cut? Don’t worry, you can catch the re-runs each day from 2:00-3:00am & pm at, or you can download the podcast at M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or by following this link on iTunes.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

M. B. Weston’s Events for the Week: 05/12/08 to 05/18/08

Here are my author and radio events this week:

Monday, May 12, 2008

This morning, we went to breakfast at First Watch, and after the meal our server handed me a box of chocolate and said, "I wasn't sure. We're handing them out to all the mothers."


I honestly wasn't expecting Mother's Day to hit me that hard. See, if I hadn't miscarried in December (Christmas Eve was when it finally happened), I would be 5 1/2 months pregnant right now. When my dad said the prayer at dinner tonight, thanking God for all the mothers in the family, my name should finally have been one of them. I haven't really thought about the miscarriage since it happened until today.

So many feelings and thoughts rushed through my mind from wondering what was wrong with my body to knowing that my husband wishes we had kids. Dwelling on that stuff can really mess you up if you let it.

But after some more thinking, I realized a few things:

  • If I had remained pregnant, I would have had to cut back on a lot of my promotion for The Elysian Chronicles. Yes, I was willing to do it. I had reorganized my entire marketing strategy in my mind in order to stay home and be a mom.
  • If I had remained pregnant, I may not have gone to MegaCon, which is where I met the guys at Ad Astra Radio, thus beginning my radio program.
  • Nor would I have gone to OmegaCon in March. (Can you imagine the drive from South Florida to Alabama, constantly having to stop to go to the bathroom and puking every morning?)
  • If I had not gone to OmegaCon, I would not have met some key people, including the president of a company that I can't talk about yet (keep checking the blog for breaking news), an invaluable contact and friend who is helping me with some research for Out of the Shadows and Book III of the Elysian Chronicles, and other really great people who have become friends. (OmegaCon was one of those things that I knew I needed to be there, but I didn't know why.)
  • I would not have lost a total of 10 pounds. I would be gaining, actually.
  • With this economy, a baby would be difficult--especially now that I have to help clean, and the chemicals I'm breathing in would not be good for a developing baby.

I can see how everything has worked out for the better. Because I am not pregnant, my audience will grow. Out of the Shadows will be even more phenomenal than it was just a month ago. Book III will be even more amazing than what it was in my mind when I started. My life has been enriched with new friendships. Honestly, I'm pretty excited about the direction my life is headed.

Knowing those things doesn't take away those nasty feelings when they decide to hit, but reminding myself of them reminds me how amazing God is.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

This Week’s Final Cut In Movies show (05/09/08): Ironman

On this week’s show, I'll be discussing Iron Man, rules to follow if you ever find yourself caught in a science fiction or fantasy movie, the question of whether making weapons is a good idea, why you need to pay careful attention to every Marvel Comics movie coming out, and other science fiction & fantasy news.

The show will air from 2:00-3:00am & pm and re-air throughout the week at the same times on To listen to tonight's show:

Missed Saturday's edition of The Final Cut? Don’t worry, you can catch the re-runs each day from 2:00-3:00am & pm at, or you can download the podcast at M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or by following this link on iTunes.

Special Operative Frogs II: FUBARed

Click here for Special Operative Frogs I.

Many of you know about my little vendetta I have with a Special Operative frog in the Land, Earth, Air, and Pond (LEAP) division of the froggy military who continuously has left Plasma Odor and Ooze Package (POOP) land mines in one of the bathrooms I clean.

We left off with the Weston Commercial Cleaning Froggy Extraction Strike Team (FEST) relocating said operative from the bathroom to the golf course last week.

This week, I'm here to report that the FEST's mission, though seemingly successful at first, failed. Kermit is back and has again taken the territory behind the ladies bathroom stall door. Fortunately this time, Kermit had not laid any POOP mines. Also, fortunately, I had the good sense to take a quick peak behind the door before spraying any disinfectant, so Kermit could not take advantage of my SLAG weakness (Screaming Like A Girl).

It was obvious that both of us were onto each other, but neither of us fired a shot. Kermit allowed me to clean the bathroom in peace. I think he realized he was out-manned. (Horrible pun, I know...)

I realized, however, that leaving Kermit in the bathroom stall would eventually lead to more POOP mines and civilian SLAG casualties. (Oh, the civilian humanity! I can only imagine the fright of the poor ladies who have had to use said bathroom... No, ladies, I cannot give the location away. It's classified.)

This poses a problem for Weston Commercial Cleaning. There are only two ways we can keep a LEAPer like Kermit from a) returning to the ladies bathroom after being removed and b) laying POOP mines in the ladies bathroom:

  1. Order the civilians who use the bathroom to close the door after they are done. (A simple concept, I know, and it would also help Weston Commercial Cleaning's bathroom cleaning mission as a whole.)
  2. Place a guard at the door of the ladies bathroom in order to watch for said LEAPer.

Unfortunately, many of the civilians believe that forcing them to close the door after they use the bathroom is a violation of their civil rights--even though it would also protect them from other wildlife, including the more dangerous snakes and spiders.

Also, the association government has refused to offer funding for said guard, claiming it would be a waste of valuable government resources that are better used for watering flowers and planning parties.

You can imagine how I feel, still having to put myself and my SLAG issues in harm's way because of this... It's frustrating as I'll get out. But I'm part of Weston Commercial Cleaning. I put my cleanliness on the line daily so civilians don't have to. It's my job, and I'll keep doing my duty without any complaining--except for here.

© M. B. Weston, 2008. Special Operative Frogs is not in any way, shape, or form a political satire. It's just a girl on a blog having fun...

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Memiors of a Cleaning Lady 4: Presents!

I've always had a "gag" reflex when it comes to incredibly offensive odors. My mom still tells the story of how I used to stand in the room while she was changing my sister's diapers. I'd gag and gag, but I was too young to understand the concept of walking out of the room to avoid throwing up. Mom thinks it's funny. (I keep trying to explain to her that two-year-olds don't have reasoning skills at that level, but she still likes to tell the story.)

I don't know what causes it. For some reason, when something horrendous hits my nose, my olfactory nerves send this signal to the brain: "Release all contents of the stomach." I begin to gag, etc. I've never actually thrown up because of a smell, I think because my stomach knows my nose is a little uppity and therefore tries to hold back for as long as possible until I can escape said stimulation. (Now this doesn't mean I'm a coward. I've done some pretty brave things, including scuba diving in 70 ft deep of murky water surrounded by hundreds of barracuda, jumping off a 40 ft cliff into a river, white water rafting down a class 5 rapid, and rappelling off a 120ft cliff. Just don't get get me anywhere near a dumpster.)

As you know, Weston Commercial Cleaning, Inc. specializes in offices and cleaning the outsides of homeowners associations. We also specialize in cleaning foreclosure homes. (Unfortunately, that side of the business is booming down here.) We're pretty good at it, too. Every single home that we have cleaned is under contract. Other homes cleaned by other cleaners? Not under contract.

Until last Friday, I had been fortunate enough to escape having to clean these homes. Let me explain why I was fortunate. When the bank forecloses on a home, most people get really mad at the bank and leave little "presents" around the house. I think they have this mistaken belief that the bank president himself gets in there with a toilet brush and a rag and cleans the place personally, but that's not the case. The bank hires innocent people like us to clean up the house, and we have to deal with the little "presents."

Examples of said presents include, but are not limited to:

  • One guy gave a dog a laxative and sent him running through the house.
  • Food still in the fridge after a month of no electric.
  • Just not cleaning their house for a year...
  • etc.

Remember that since we don't get to a foreclosed home for at least a month, some of these gifts are incredibly ripe.

Last Friday, I got to help clean my first foreclosure home, which was pretty clean. (Except for the kitchen which had onion skins all over it. Onion skins are staticky and take forever to clean up.)

My specialty is bathrooms. Usually, the toilets haven't been cleaned in a month or two, and they've got some hard water stains, etc. We use an emulsifier to get rid of the stains and mold. This stuff will take anything off--rust, hard water stains, the upper-epidermis on your fingers. It's pretty sweet. Unfortunately, the fumes will dissolve the lining inside your nose and lungs, so I squirt the emulsifier in the toilets and leave the room as it sits. You can imagine how this stuff smells.

After I let the emulsifier sit, I set to work cleaning the sinks, and the toilet itself. Then I grabbed my toilet brush and began scrubbing the inside of a toilet.

That's when I discovered a "present."

What I thought was dirty, moldy water at the bottom of the toilet was actually urine that had been sitting there for over a month.

Freshly emulsified urine...

...which when I tried to flush the toilet, which only had a little bit of water in the tank because the water was turned off, spread into the atmosphere.

Did I mention that I had just eaten a three-egg omelet for breakfast?

No, I did not throw up--but I almost did, because I really wanted to finish the job. My stomach did not settle down until about four hours later--just in time for me to tackle the bathroom that had, again, been staked out by the returning Special Operative Frog... (More on that tomorrow.)

The Final Cut in Movies' Rules for Surviving a Science Fiction/Fantasy Movie

For those of you who don't know, I have a list that I'm creating called, "The Final Cut's Rules for Surviving a Science Fiction/Fantasy Movie". (You can read the list here.)

This is what I've got so far:

  1. If a monster is chasing you, run out the door. Do not run down to the basement or up on the roof--unless you are either 1) Jackie Chan or 2) a comic book superhero with the ability to fly. Always try to give yourself a "means of egress."
  2. If one of the bad guys decides to show you all the nitty-gritty details of his operation, run. Immediately.
  3. If you discover that you are in a movie adapted from a Stephen King novel, find the nearest crazy person with whom you are trapped and tape his/her mouth shut! You might also consider taping his/her wrists and ankles. You may also want to bring some Prozac...
  4. Never insult a Klingon. No matter how tempting...
  5. If you are a good guy actively fighting bad guys and you have a girlfriend or a wife, get her out of the country. Suggestion: she might really enjoy some spa time in the Caribbean.

And after watching Ironman, I just added a new one:

  • If your arch-enemy is unconscious, make sure he's dead. This could save the director millions of dollars on extra stuntmen, more CG creation time, explosions, etc.

I'll keep you all updated each time I think of a new one.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

M. B. Weston’s Events for the Week: 05/05/08 to 05/11/08

Here are my author and radio events this week:

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Listen to M. B. Weston on The Final Cut in Movies: The Chronicles of Narnia!

On this week’s show, I'll be discussing The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the characteristics of evil, the importance of second chances, and other science fiction & fantasy news.

The show will air from 2:00-3:00am & pm and re-air throughout the week at the same times on To listen to tonight's show:

Missed Saturday's edition of The Final Cut? Don’t worry, you can catch the re-runs each day from 2:00-3:00am & pm at, or you can download the podcast at M. B. Weston's Podcasts site or by following this link on iTunes.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Final Cut in Movies Radio Program is Now Available for Download on iTunes!

iTunes has just informed me that they have accepted my podcast of The Final Cut in Movies into their system! This means that those of you who cannot listen in on the internet from the times of 2:00am to 3:00am or from 2:00pm to 3:00pm can now download the show and listen to it on either:

  • your computer
  • your MP3 player

It also means that there are now two places you can download the files:

For those of you who download music to your computer using iTunes anyway, the iTunes link might be easiest for you to use. You can go there right now and download the shows that you've missed. (I know a few of you highly recommend the Star Wars show.) Oh, and if you happen to like the show, could you please give me some good ratings on iTunes before the bad ones start coming in?

You can also subscribe to the podcast at either site, meaning your computer will download the podcasts for you--magically, and hopefully in the middle of the night so it won't take you forever to get it... I have no idea how the podcast subscription thing works, but I think it works similar to subscribing to a blog. (It uses the rss thing-a-ma-bobber blog subscriptions use.)