Thursday, August 16, 2007

Symptoms of Fried Brain

I’m beginning to experience symptoms of classic Fried Brain. Fried Brain is a medical term for the condition brought on by many factors, including: stress, fear, time crunches, lack of sleep, and book deadlines. Symptoms of Fried Brain include, but are not limited to:

  1. Overindulgence in coffee and/or espresso
  2. Insomnia (see above)
  3. Sensory organ shutdown (i.e. not noticing anything going on around you)
  4. Moments of senility and/or forgetfulness
  5. Exhaustion
  6. Fogginess when thinking

If you have or experience any of these symptoms, you may be experiencing Fried Brain. The only known cures are: 1) give up on whatever dream you’re trying to accomplish, 2) indulge in more of symptom one, and 3) meet your deadline.

I began to realize I was showing the classic signs of Fried Brain when I walked into the bank today. First, some history. For the past month while I’ve been on the road, I’ve had to drag my computer and huge purse everywhere. Each time I’d get out of my car, I’d be dragging everything in to either a book signing or a coffee shop where I would write/answer e-mail/etc. All the time, every day. So today, I get out of the car and go into the bank. As I’m standing in line, the assistant manager comes up to me and gives me a weird look. “Looks like you’ve got a lot of stuff,” he said. I closed my eyes in embarrassment and said, “I’ve got a backpack on, don’t I?” He nodded. And there I was, standing in the middle of the bank with my huge, heavy back pack on and my purse that is the size of a mammoth’s ear.

Fried Brain.

So I immediately drove to PJ’s and indulged in symptom one.

Anyone else out there have Fried Brain, or know what to do about it?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. I had four or five shots (I lost count) of espresso a few days ago with a friend of mine, while talking about her second book that she is currently working on. I was all set to go home and continue reading the second draft of her novel, while simultaneously adding my adorable observations and opinions, when I realized I was experiencing caffeine poisoning. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: Dizziness, nausea, hallucinations, and the ability to climb ceilings. Yes, five shots of espresso can do that to you! So, while caffeine can be a welcomed stimulant, I caution you in the use of it for "fried brain" syndrome. Unless, of course, you are affiliated with Bonnie and Clyde.